Manners – It all begins at home

The Qur’an and the Sunnah teach us good morals and manners. Rasoolullah (SAW) was the best example (Uswatunn Hasanahh as mentioned in Qur’an) of the teachings of the Qur’an. It is very important for a Muslim to learn about Islamic Aadaab and Akhlaq and follow the Sunnah as the best model.

Rasoolullah (SAW) reminded us before he died:
I am leaving you with two things: the Qur’an and my sunnah: whoever holds tight to them will never go astray, but where does it all start?

With the growing number of private madrasah’s and Islamic institutions, we have an abundance of options available to us as to where to send our children for Islamic education. We expect them to learn the Quraan, Hadith, Du’as etc but that is not where it starts and stops. Before a child goes to a madrasah he/she comes from home and when they leave madrasah they return back home. That before and after is one crucial stage we often neglect when it comes to Islam.

Islam is a WAY OF LIFE which includes MANNERS. Nabi (SAW) had the best of manners and taught them to us. There are countless ahadith regarding how one should behave around other people and we need to incorporate it into our lives. Its not a case of culture, wealth or social status but a simple following of our beloved Prophet (SAW).

“PLEASE”, “THANK YOU”, “MAY I”, “CAN I” are just some of the forgotten phrases which have been so rudely replaced by GRABBING, BACK CHATTING, NO RESPECT TO ELDERS or TEACHERS and worst of all calling our parents by their first names. This “hip” way of calling ones parents is totally un-islamic and disrespectful. Parents who allow this for the sake of “feeling younger” need to retake their place as parents with responsibility and demand respect from their children. It may seem like a trivial thing but when the child grows older, marries and turns around disrespecting his parents, then it’s too late to run to a moulana asking for a TAAWEEZ because the child is out of control. We forget how we have let them take advantage from a young age.

How is it possible to teach children proper islamic manners when it is never stressed at home? We can only hope and appeal to parents to teach their children proper Islamic manners because thats where it starts – at home. The quickest and easiest way a child will form habits is by seeing these habits around him / her on a daily basis. How elders speak to each other in front of the children is of utmost importance. If the people in the home are abrupt with each other or they are emotionally cold, inexpressive, abusive or impolite, that is exactly how the character of the child will be. So remember it’s no use if parents keep reprimanding a child when they themselves are not good examples. A child will quicker learn by action than by word of mouth. As the saying goes… Actions speak louder than words.
We leave you with this beautiful poem.

There are little eyes upon you 
and they’re watching night and day. 

There are little ears that quickly 
take in every word you say.

There are little hands all eager 
to do anything you do; 

And a little boy who’s dreaming 
of the day he’ll be like you.

You’re the little fellow’s idol, 
you’re the wisest of the wise. 

In his little mind about you 
no suspicions ever rise. 

He believes in you devoutly, 
holds all you say and do;

He will say and do, in your way 
when he’s grown up just like you. 

There’s a wide-eyed little fellow 
who believes you’re always right; 

and his eyes are always opened, 
and he watches day and night.

You are setting an example 
every day in all you do;

For the little boy who’s waiting 
to grow up to be like you.